Q:Ever had to fight Superman?
Anonymous
Thankfully no, but if I had to I’m sure I could win. Not that I have a secret stash of kyrptonite on my utility belt at all times or anything like that. I could just use my super sweet detective abilities to trick him into beating himself up or something. I’m pretty smart if you haven’t noticed. I could even get one of my super-villain friends to take him down for me. I think Poison Ivy did it a couple times, why can’t someone like Wuce Brayne the world’s greatest defective?
Q:Well hello there sir! Have you seen Batman anywhere? I've been looking for him for hours! D:
Anonymous
I don’t think I’ve ever seen Batman up close before and I definitely have not seen him in the past couple of hours. I’ve been busy grooming my moustache. All this talk about “The Batman” has got me on edge though. If he shows up I don’t think I could handle going up against him. I’ve heard he’s a real monster and that all he’s an unstoppable force against crime.
Mockingbirds Are No Laughing Matter: definitelynotbatman submitted: Hey Penguin, I just moved here from a...
definitelynotbatman submitted:
Hey Penguin, I just moved here from a far off place you have never heard of. I’ve been hearing through the grapevine that you might be doing some pretty sweet crimes soon. Any chance I could get in on any of that? I myself am a pretty awesome villain and…
Well, you seem like a trustworthy fellow!
Source: askthatdashingrogue
Q:I love you Not Batman. :D
Q:So, Not Batman, what do you think of Catwoman?
Anonymous
She’s alright I guess. Not that I’ve ever seen her up close and talked to her personally or anything like that. My crime compatriots tell me she kind of looks like my friend Kelina Syle. You guys be the judge.
Now Kelina is a feisty young lady let me tell you. Me and her go all over the town stealing things like rare jewels from museums and really trashing up historical sectors of Gotham. I haven’t really seen Kelina lately to be honest. If you know anything about her or where I can find her let me know. Better yet, if you know when she’s going to go on one of her crime sprees tell me! I really miss those.
Q:So you're not Batman? Hm. I think we can arrange a working deal. If you want, we can continue this over at my office building. Don't forget your mustache.
What an interesting proposition. I’m on my way!
Also, why would I forget my moustache? It’s hard to forget your own hair…!
Q:If you aren't the Bat, then who are you? /:)
Normally I would be against disposing of my secret identity, but since you asked so nicely I don’t see the harm in revealing myself. Just don’t tell anyone important because then things might get messy. I might have to “break some heads” if you catch my drift. And my butler would be upset because the last time it happened I had used the last of the lettuce and he needed to make a second trip to the grocery story. He was not happy to say the least and you don’t want to upset someone who has all the opportunity in the world to poison you.
I present to you Wuce Brayne. Criminal mastermind extraordinaire! I’ve lived a hard life on “the blocks” as it can be seen in my carefully groomed mustache. It was a sign back from my old town in a place you’ve never heard of that meant “I mean business.” The moustache was just a way of saying that I wasn’t afraid to get my hands dirty and do some evil crime things.
Q:So if you're definitely not Batman, then you' have no problem using guns, right?
Anonymous
Oh… Of course I’ve used guns before. I… LOVE guns… Me and my evil bad-guy buddies go out all the time and just bring a load of guns with us for the hell of it. You know, just in case some super hero in a dark cape comes along. We never actually shoot anything or anyone though. Don’t want to disturb the peace. I mean I love disturbing the peace but I’ve been in “the slammer” so many times that I’m already on my third strike so the next time I get put down by “the man” I want it to be for something really bad. Like blowing up a building of Wayne Enterprises. You haven’t heard anything like that happening anytime soon have you? Because if you have I’d totally want to be in on that.
Oh, and before you ask, yes I have shot many a gun before; such as the classic A1 “saucer” My personal favorite though is the Magnum P.I. I love that series of gun.
Who’s this “Batman” guy? Seriously, I keep hearing people say I look like him! I’m Definitely Not Batman and this is my new tumblr! Don’t be afraid to let me in on all that juicy gossip you guys and gals hear around Gotham. Also I’m totally into crime, so if you super villains out there need a side kick I’m your man. Just post all of the information relating to your crime here on my tumblr and I’ll totally help you out! (Time, Place, Other Super Villains you’re working with, Any cool gadgets you might bring along, etc.) Also I’m Definitely Not Batman, in case it didn’t get across the first time.
